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Ah, the vintage store. So foolishly overlooked by the holiday shopper. Nowhere else offers such a potent blend of originality and affordability.
Intel commercial with Homer Simpson 1998
Vintage Homer
Ah, it's time for a costume party, and you're thinking of wearing a fairy tale costume. Need some inspiration? Simply walking to your bookshelf will yield some excellent ideas, if you have a book on fairy tales or an old, dusty book of mythology from your school days. However, perhaps you want to get a little naughty this year, show yourself off and feel sexy in a revealing outfit. Will you still find inspiration from mere children's tales? Well, prepare to be shocked...
Naughty as They Wanna Be
Open a book on Greek or Roman Mythology, and you'll quickly realize most of these stories are about gods and goddesses lustily pursuing each other or unsuspecting mortals. These myths and stories are chock full of torrid affairs, adultery, kidnappings, wanton orgies, transformations into base animals, sexual pursuits, lethal snares and bloodlust!
Zeus's adventures often involve seducing a beautiful mortal woman, with Helen of Troy one such result of a passionate rendezvous. Stories abound with dryads and nymphs ensnaring unwary guys and gals, and Homer's Odysseus, returning home after the sack of Troy, often had to fight off the charms and wiles of sexy evil sorceresses and sirens.
Ahh, such wild fun back then!
Dark Fairy Tales
Closer to today (well, from the last 500 years), we have children's fairy tales. Think Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella are the innocent stories as told by Disney? Nope, the stories we read to our children are sanitized translations of brutal medieval European folklore. For example, Cinderella's wicked stepsisters mutilated their feet to fit into the slipper, and instead of a fairy godmother, doves helped transform her. Those same birds later pecked the eyes out of the stepsisters for their deviousness! In the earliest version of Sleeping Beauty, she does not awaken from a chaste prince's kiss, but from one of her twin babies sucking the poison from her finger! The prince was certainly no gentleman, and he was already married to boot.
Yes, people's minds in the past were just as dirty as they are today! When you dress in cute fairy outfits, don't think of them as childish, but as expressions of how naughty the original tales are. Here's a few Halloween ideas, taken straight from the sources:
Athena, Venus, Diana or other Greek goddesses - They usually wore a simple white dress, with gold jewelry, a belt, and sandals with laces criss-crossing up the leg. A wide variety of costumes exist, from simple cloth to elaborate robes with draping cloth to short, revealing dresses. Don't forget the tiara!
Dryads and nymphs - They don't have wings, but these creatures, usually depicted as sexy young women, usually live in trees or lakes, and take a liking to young men! Look for short skirts with a woodland theme, sheer fabric, and a tiara of leaves and sticks. In ancient mythology, nymphs were the guardians of nature, and often servants of gods and goddesses, though a few stories have them successfully ensnaring handsome guys.
Red Riding Hood - In the original tale, the wolf actually ate both her and her grandmother, and the huntsman cut open the belly of the wolf to rescue them. You can find a variety of flirtatious outfits online, such as sexy short red dresses, a red cape and black boots. Bake some cookies and share them at the party. If there're wolves lurking in the crowd, tease them with your goods!
Sleeping Beauty and the lecherous prince - If you're a couple going to a party, dress as a sexy fairy princess with a pillow. Your prince charming will fall for you all over again!
Sexy Snow White - In the original tale, the wicked queen was ultimately captured and forced to dance in hot iron shoes until she died. You don't need to be so cruel, but since the mirror says you are the fairest of them all, flaunt your beauty with a sexy red and blue bodice, short yellow skirt, white stockings, cape and headband. Don't forget to bring your apple.
Chris is the author and owner of Sexy Costume Ideas.com, a website that provides free resources, articles and great costume ideas to help express yourself at your next Halloween party, or any other event.
Homer Simpson Funny Video Clock NOT FAIL TOY Reviewed by Michael Mozart Mike
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